A Tribute to Lonnie McLeod ’99

A tribute to Lonnie….from Martha Jacobs….written shortly after learning of Lonnie’s unexpected death from his wife, Jacqueline.

In 1991, I began a journey at NYTS that has led me to serve God in ways that I could never have imagined. Along my NYTS journey, there were several classmates who have become my friends and colleagues. And, there were those who felt that I should not succeed as an ordained minister, let alone be welcomed at the NYTS Table.

One of those people who welcomed me when others would not have me join the table, was Lonnie McLeod.  Lonnie and I were so different and yet, very much of the same heart. This became apparent when one of our fellow students spoke out about me in a very nasty manner. She chose to “out” me as a lesbian, even though I had done nothing that would have let that be known (some at NYTS at that time was very homophobic and I had been warned about that). I had been very careful, but somehow this woman had figured it out.

Shortly after her outburst in class, Lonnie came to me and asked me to have coffee with him. I was not sure what to expect or why he was asking me to join him. I was actually worried, because Lonnie was African American and I am Caucasian. The woman who had outed me was also African American, (and I had been warned by the dean at the time that African Americans were going to be particularly homophobic) and so I was hesitant. But, something in his eyes, when he asked me to meet with him, let me know that it was going to be ok.

As we sat drinking our coffee, Lonnie started to tell me about his life. He said that he had not told any of our fellow students at NYTS that he had been in prison, but that he had served his time and knew what it was like to have to protect yourself from those who would persecute you for who you are. He said that he thought her outburst was wrong and did not represent all of the students in my class nor NYTS, nor all Christians. He said that he had worked his way through his own doings as a young person and was continuing to be considered “other than.” He knew that he had made mistakes and he had paid for those mistakes.

My heart was deeply touched by Lonnie’s trusting me with his story and his testimony. I had been considering leaving the seminary, but Lonnie, and a few other students, convinced me to stay because, as Lonnie said, “I need to be able to minister to you and to others like you. I know that God has you here for a reason and part of that reason is to teach me and others who are ignorant about how to bring you into our churches and help you feel a part of us. We are all made in the image of God, and you are one of God’s children who I love and need to learn to accept.” He then said that he hoped that his telling me about his past would not impinge on our relationship. I looked him in the eye and said, “Not a chance. We are connected for life.” And he said, “That is a sentence I want to wholeheartedly serve.”

Once we graduated, we drifted apart, but sent Christmas cards and saw each other at UCC Metro Meetings and NYTS gatherings and always gave each other the kind of deep hug that says more than words can ever say.

Not to experience that hug again is painful and very sad. But I am a better person and a better minister than I might have been had Lonnie and I not had coffee that day, because he also opened for me a place in my heart for those who have been incarcerated and have served their time. He showed me that people can and do change and that, with God, all things are possible.

October 28, 2009